Because I'm thankful

The other day I gave Johnny a clean undershirt. He looked up at me with his blue eyes and said, “Thanks, Mom!”

It's nice to hear those words from time to time. Albeit just an undershirt, somehow it was more. It got me thinking about this Thanksgiving so I decided to do a little research and see if I could peel back the many layers of gratitude and come up with something deep and soul changing to write about.

Turns out there’s no such thing where gratitude is concerned. Gratitude isn’t complicated. We don’t have to dig deep into the recesses of our blessings to truly be grateful, we just have to start with the first person/object/circumstance nearest us and work our way out.

For instance, I can hear my boys playing in the family room. They’re taking turns casting Harry Potter spells upon everything in sight and giggling with anticipation of the outcome.

I have two wonderful boys and one amazing husband, what a blessing. And don’t ask me how, but at least 75% of the time they love and play with each other. I’m grateful for kids who cry when they think someone in the family is having a rough day, and are quick to offer each other a shoulder if I don’t get there fast enough.

And speaking of tiles, it gets cold here in Utah. The air is freezing and dry and my house is sometimes chilly. Never has a person ever been more grateful for the miraculous luxury of kitchen heater vents than I. They might be in need of a good cleaning, but I can sit a top of them in the morning covered with a blanket and feel blessed heat.

While we’re on the topic of kitchens, can I get a hallelujah for microwaves? That invention is the cream cheese to my bagel. Sure it beeps incessantly when the food is finished, but maybe it just wants a little grateful attention. This year I will give my microwave a good scrub and thank it for all those healthy electromagnetic radiation waves that give me popcorn in under three minutes.

And popcorn, how great is that? Not only do we have microwaves to cook our food, but we have food. Everywhere in America families are hungry. This Thanksgiving I can’t help but wonder what all those other hungry children are doing, the ones who can’t afford to eat turkey and stuffing.

It’s easy over the holidays to get caught up with the shopping and the eating and the self-involved partying. But not everyone is so lucky. Whatever your blessings are, someone will always have it better, but someone will always have it worse. Which ones are you noticing?

If you haven’t done it already I suggest taking out a pen or a keyboard and making a thoughtful list of the things you’re grateful for this Thanksgiving. It doesn’t have to be eloquent or unique, and it’s not about impressing people with your depth of character. Take time to make a written record of all the good things you’ve got going for you this Thanksgiving. It’s far healthier than pumpkin pie.

I’m thankful for Jesus Christ, and for my hardships and blessings. You can’t have one without the other and I wouldn’t trade my plate for anything, no matter how good the gravy looks.

Lastly, Happy Thanksgiving to my wonderful family. To my parents, Kevin and Dianne, and my brothers who are gathering together with their own kids and extended family to celebrate. It's too bad we were separated by the globe.

Hey, there's always next year.

should i be offended?

Isn’t it interesting how easy it is to accidentally offend people? Sure, there are offensive sins that are outright contrived, but so many of the things people do to us, or we in turn do to others, are done without malice or intent.

In short, we usually offend people simply because we’re thoughtless idiots.

The other day I was visiting with a friend and found she was getting together with a mutual acquaintance for a night out; I’d run across the gathering by sheer accident.

“Oh,um…I’m going to ----'s that night, you know…it’s a girls’ thing…”

Awkward. Especially when it happened to me twice in a row for the same get together. The first time I figured it was probably a small private affair, no biggie. But getting a double rejection from two of our shared friends? My heart plummeted.

In no time flat I felt sick with the 7th grade Outcast Flu. Had I done something wrong? Hurt her feelings? Was it my conversation starters? Cause I can totally change to fit in. (Okay, that's a lie, but whatever.)

Then the first twinges of “she hurt my feelings” started to set in. That’s when I called Aaron. I gave him the rundown and sat on the other end of the phone, stuffing my face with left over Halloween candy and licking my chocolate covered wounds.

“Honey,” he said gently, “Don’t do this. Don’t let yourself get offended for something we’ve all accidentally done. Are you telling me you’ve never forgotten to invite someone over for games or a girls’ night? I’m pretty sure you’ve offended plenty of people, just in the 15 plus years I’ve known you. Have a little charity, forgive it, and get on with your day.”

And that was that.

The strange thing is, four sentences from my husband was as good for my soul as a visit to the spa is for my body. Of course he was right, how did I forget that very simple answer? I get to choose how I’m going to feel here, and I don’t have to take offense.

Whatever her reasons for leaving me out were, they didn’t matter, even if her intentions were down right hurtful (something I seriously doubt). Jesus didn’t say, “Forgive the people who accidentally hurt your feelings,” He said to get over all of it, even the nasty and intentional rejections, or the slanderous comments.

Loving people isn’t as easy as saying it out loud, but saying it out loud sure does help. It isn’t hard to find a friend to commiserate with, someone who encourages our feelings of anger and frustration. Instead, the next time someone pricks your feelings, look for the person in your life who will pull you back onto the straight and narrow.

It’s a one way path, make sure you’re following the right trail guide.