mama bear

Johnny came home from school the other day talking frantically and loudly about his day. Suddenly I look over at Jackson and ask, "How was your day, buddy?" With tears in his eyes he replies, "I got made fun of today."

Talk about a sock right to the gut! I do believe that this is every mother's worst nightmare. I realize that he's not as outgoing as his little brother, but he has the biggest heart of anyone I know.

I gently wrapped my arms around him as I listened to the reason for this unpleasant encounter. Since he isn't usually good at opening right up, I realized I would have to press him for further details.

The more he talks, the more I feel like bulldozing my way into the school and telling these boys just what I think of them. It's one thing to think something, but acting on it is a totally different ball game.

Since it isn't reasonable to think that I can keep him under my constant supervision for the rest of his life, I guess it's time to teach him how to stand up for himself in this crazy world.

After a long talk with his dad, they were able to make a little head way and set forth a plan of action. As we said prayers that night, he prayed for the boys at school - that wasn't the surprising part - he prayed for them to know he had forgiven them; I nearly cried.

I realized right then that he no longer needed my constant supervision. All this time I thought I was teaching him. In reality, he was in fact, teaching me.

Lesson learned.

I refuse to be this lame.

The other morning I woke up, gazed at the sun starting to creep over the mountains and break through the bathroom window, and instantly I was grumpy.

I stomped and frowned my way around the house for 40 minutes while the boys got ready. Finally one of them said to me, "What's wrong? The day just started. What are you so incredibly grumpy about?"

Before I could make up some excuse about my not getting enough sleep, my mouth went and told on me. "I CAN'T DO THIS!"

I. Am. So. Lame.

Usually I feel great about myself, and some how manage to check off all of my "to do list," so there should be no reason for me to be anything but happy. Therefore, I blame the devil himself for planting seeds of irritation in my brain.

The point isn't how much or how little I accomplish in a day. The point is I've fallen for that old trap that keeps me from loving this day and these people around me because I'm all wrapped up in my imperfections. The world is beautiful and I've got people who love me and support me in spite of these imperfections.

I got the boys out the door and proceeded to get myself ready for the day. Once I succumb to a relaxing, hot shower I know I'll be fine.

That old turkey we call the devil knows just what will tip us in the wrong direction, and if we're not actively seeking to find the little rays of sunshine in our day he will rain on our parade faster than a flash flood. The trick is shrugging off the blue or black thoughts and running in the other direction as fast as possible.

So, bring on the sunshine and smiles. I'm all ready to go.