The other day I gave Johnny a clean undershirt. He looked up at me with his blue eyes and said, “Thanks, Mom!”
It's nice to hear those words from time to time. Albeit just an undershirt, somehow it was more. It got me thinking about this Thanksgiving so I decided to do a little research and see if I could peel back the many layers of gratitude and come up with something deep and soul changing to write about.
Turns out there’s no such thing where gratitude is concerned. Gratitude isn’t complicated. We don’t have to dig deep into the recesses of our blessings to truly be grateful, we just have to start with the first person/object/circumstance nearest us and work our way out.
For instance, I can hear my boys playing in the family room. They’re taking turns casting Harry Potter spells upon everything in sight and giggling with anticipation of the outcome.
I have two wonderful boys and one amazing husband, what a blessing. And don’t ask me how, but at least 75% of the time they love and play with each other. I’m grateful for kids who cry when they think someone in the family is having a rough day, and are quick to offer each other a shoulder if I don’t get there fast enough.
And speaking of tiles, it gets cold here in Utah. The air is freezing and dry and my house is sometimes chilly. Never has a person ever been more grateful for the miraculous luxury of kitchen heater vents than I. They might be in need of a good cleaning, but I can sit a top of them in the morning covered with a blanket and feel blessed heat.
While we’re on the topic of kitchens, can I get a hallelujah for microwaves? That invention is the cream cheese to my bagel. Sure it beeps incessantly when the food is finished, but maybe it just wants a little grateful attention. This year I will give my microwave a good scrub and thank it for all those healthy electromagnetic radiation waves that give me popcorn in under three minutes.
And popcorn, how great is that? Not only do we have microwaves to cook our food, but we have food. Everywhere in America families are hungry. This Thanksgiving I can’t help but wonder what all those other hungry children are doing, the ones who can’t afford to eat turkey and stuffing.
It’s easy over the holidays to get caught up with the shopping and the eating and the self-involved partying. But not everyone is so lucky. Whatever your blessings are, someone will always have it better, but someone will always have it worse. Which ones are you noticing?
If you haven’t done it already I suggest taking out a pen or a keyboard and making a thoughtful list of the things you’re grateful for this Thanksgiving. It doesn’t have to be eloquent or unique, and it’s not about impressing people with your depth of character. Take time to make a written record of all the good things you’ve got going for you this Thanksgiving. It’s far healthier than pumpkin pie.
I’m thankful for Jesus Christ, and for my hardships and blessings. You can’t have one without the other and I wouldn’t trade my plate for anything, no matter how good the gravy looks.
Lastly, Happy Thanksgiving to my wonderful family. To my parents, Kevin and Dianne, and my brothers who are gathering together with their own kids and extended family to celebrate. It's too bad we were separated by the globe.
Hey, there's always next year.
11.29.2011
11.15.2011
should i be offended?
Isn’t it interesting how easy it is to accidentally offend people? Sure, there are offensive sins that are outright contrived, but so many of the things people do to us, or we in turn do to others, are done without malice or intent.
In short, we usually offend people simply because we’re thoughtless idiots.
The other day I was visiting with a friend and found she was getting together with a mutual acquaintance for a night out; I’d run across the gathering by sheer accident.
“Oh,um…I’m going to ----'s that night, you know…it’s a girls’ thing…”
Awkward. Especially when it happened to me twice in a row for the same get together. The first time I figured it was probably a small private affair, no biggie. But getting a double rejection from two of our shared friends? My heart plummeted.
In no time flat I felt sick with the 7th grade Outcast Flu. Had I done something wrong? Hurt her feelings? Was it my conversation starters? Cause I can totally change to fit in. (Okay, that's a lie, but whatever.)
Then the first twinges of “she hurt my feelings” started to set in. That’s when I called Aaron. I gave him the rundown and sat on the other end of the phone, stuffing my face with left over Halloween candy and licking my chocolate covered wounds.
“Honey,” he said gently, “Don’t do this. Don’t let yourself get offended for something we’ve all accidentally done. Are you telling me you’ve never forgotten to invite someone over for games or a girls’ night? I’m pretty sure you’ve offended plenty of people, just in the 15 plus years I’ve known you. Have a little charity, forgive it, and get on with your day.”
And that was that.
The strange thing is, four sentences from my husband was as good for my soul as a visit to the spa is for my body. Of course he was right, how did I forget that very simple answer? I get to choose how I’m going to feel here, and I don’t have to take offense.
Whatever her reasons for leaving me out were, they didn’t matter, even if her intentions were down right hurtful (something I seriously doubt). Jesus didn’t say, “Forgive the people who accidentally hurt your feelings,” He said to get over all of it, even the nasty and intentional rejections, or the slanderous comments.
Loving people isn’t as easy as saying it out loud, but saying it out loud sure does help. It isn’t hard to find a friend to commiserate with, someone who encourages our feelings of anger and frustration. Instead, the next time someone pricks your feelings, look for the person in your life who will pull you back onto the straight and narrow.
It’s a one way path, make sure you’re following the right trail guide.
In short, we usually offend people simply because we’re thoughtless idiots.
The other day I was visiting with a friend and found she was getting together with a mutual acquaintance for a night out; I’d run across the gathering by sheer accident.
“Oh,um…I’m going to ----'s that night, you know…it’s a girls’ thing…”
Awkward. Especially when it happened to me twice in a row for the same get together. The first time I figured it was probably a small private affair, no biggie. But getting a double rejection from two of our shared friends? My heart plummeted.
In no time flat I felt sick with the 7th grade Outcast Flu. Had I done something wrong? Hurt her feelings? Was it my conversation starters? Cause I can totally change to fit in. (Okay, that's a lie, but whatever.)
Then the first twinges of “she hurt my feelings” started to set in. That’s when I called Aaron. I gave him the rundown and sat on the other end of the phone, stuffing my face with left over Halloween candy and licking my chocolate covered wounds.
“Honey,” he said gently, “Don’t do this. Don’t let yourself get offended for something we’ve all accidentally done. Are you telling me you’ve never forgotten to invite someone over for games or a girls’ night? I’m pretty sure you’ve offended plenty of people, just in the 15 plus years I’ve known you. Have a little charity, forgive it, and get on with your day.”
And that was that.
The strange thing is, four sentences from my husband was as good for my soul as a visit to the spa is for my body. Of course he was right, how did I forget that very simple answer? I get to choose how I’m going to feel here, and I don’t have to take offense.
Whatever her reasons for leaving me out were, they didn’t matter, even if her intentions were down right hurtful (something I seriously doubt). Jesus didn’t say, “Forgive the people who accidentally hurt your feelings,” He said to get over all of it, even the nasty and intentional rejections, or the slanderous comments.
Loving people isn’t as easy as saying it out loud, but saying it out loud sure does help. It isn’t hard to find a friend to commiserate with, someone who encourages our feelings of anger and frustration. Instead, the next time someone pricks your feelings, look for the person in your life who will pull you back onto the straight and narrow.
It’s a one way path, make sure you’re following the right trail guide.
10.11.2011
food for thought
I was just sitting here contemplating this roller coaster we call life. We know it moves quickly, has its ups and downs, makes us sick, and even excites us. Even knowing all of this, we continue to ride. Is it the thrill of the unknown we seek, or do we push through the fear in hopes we'll come out on the other side feeling exhilarated and ready to ride again?
My goal for my 36th year in life (yes, I'm turning 36 on the 14th of this month!), is to enjoy the ride. I know there is a lesson in this somewhere, and I am bound and determined to discover it. While I've never considered myself much of a dare-devil, I've also never been known to throw in the towel. Who knows? Maybe there's a compromise somewhere?!
And, hey, if all else fails...there's always the merry-go-round.
My goal for my 36th year in life (yes, I'm turning 36 on the 14th of this month!), is to enjoy the ride. I know there is a lesson in this somewhere, and I am bound and determined to discover it. While I've never considered myself much of a dare-devil, I've also never been known to throw in the towel. Who knows? Maybe there's a compromise somewhere?!
And, hey, if all else fails...there's always the merry-go-round.
10.05.2011
good news minute
We all dreaded it as children, right?! The infamous three word sentence that sent chills down our spines...PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE! I think it's safe to say that I could stop with those three words, but I won't.
As if it isn't stressful enough to hold this dreaded meeting twice a year, it is also deemed necessary for parents to reserve their desired time WEEKS in advance. Poor kids! Why not just pour salt on the ever increasing wound!
I think that I, along with many others, would admit that we walk into the school hoping for the best and expecting the worst. Turns out, this year's meeting left no wounds or battle scars. Nothing can please a Mom more than to hear great things such as:
"What a gentlemen your son is."
"His scores are above grade level."
"If it were up to me, your son would be permanent assistant coach of our class."
"You are raising an amazing boy."
"His manners are remarkable."
The truth is, I could go on and on - I won't. I felt so incredibly honored to walk away from this experience with a sense of pride for my boys. I'm completely blessed to have been entrusted to these magnificent children and it's safe to say that my rule of parenting will remain unchanged - be smart enough to know when to stay out of their way and let them be who they are.
Life. Is. Good.
As if it isn't stressful enough to hold this dreaded meeting twice a year, it is also deemed necessary for parents to reserve their desired time WEEKS in advance. Poor kids! Why not just pour salt on the ever increasing wound!
I think that I, along with many others, would admit that we walk into the school hoping for the best and expecting the worst. Turns out, this year's meeting left no wounds or battle scars. Nothing can please a Mom more than to hear great things such as:
"What a gentlemen your son is."
"His scores are above grade level."
"If it were up to me, your son would be permanent assistant coach of our class."
"You are raising an amazing boy."
"His manners are remarkable."
The truth is, I could go on and on - I won't. I felt so incredibly honored to walk away from this experience with a sense of pride for my boys. I'm completely blessed to have been entrusted to these magnificent children and it's safe to say that my rule of parenting will remain unchanged - be smart enough to know when to stay out of their way and let them be who they are.
Life. Is. Good.
9.30.2011
mama bear
Johnny came home from school the other day talking frantically and loudly about his day. Suddenly I look over at Jackson and ask, "How was your day, buddy?" With tears in his eyes he replies, "I got made fun of today."
Talk about a sock right to the gut! I do believe that this is every mother's worst nightmare. I realize that he's not as outgoing as his little brother, but he has the biggest heart of anyone I know.
I gently wrapped my arms around him as I listened to the reason for this unpleasant encounter. Since he isn't usually good at opening right up, I realized I would have to press him for further details.
The more he talks, the more I feel like bulldozing my way into the school and telling these boys just what I think of them. It's one thing to think something, but acting on it is a totally different ball game.
Since it isn't reasonable to think that I can keep him under my constant supervision for the rest of his life, I guess it's time to teach him how to stand up for himself in this crazy world.
After a long talk with his dad, they were able to make a little head way and set forth a plan of action. As we said prayers that night, he prayed for the boys at school - that wasn't the surprising part - he prayed for them to know he had forgiven them; I nearly cried.
I realized right then that he no longer needed my constant supervision. All this time I thought I was teaching him. In reality, he was in fact, teaching me.
Lesson learned.
Talk about a sock right to the gut! I do believe that this is every mother's worst nightmare. I realize that he's not as outgoing as his little brother, but he has the biggest heart of anyone I know.
I gently wrapped my arms around him as I listened to the reason for this unpleasant encounter. Since he isn't usually good at opening right up, I realized I would have to press him for further details.
The more he talks, the more I feel like bulldozing my way into the school and telling these boys just what I think of them. It's one thing to think something, but acting on it is a totally different ball game.
Since it isn't reasonable to think that I can keep him under my constant supervision for the rest of his life, I guess it's time to teach him how to stand up for himself in this crazy world.
After a long talk with his dad, they were able to make a little head way and set forth a plan of action. As we said prayers that night, he prayed for the boys at school - that wasn't the surprising part - he prayed for them to know he had forgiven them; I nearly cried.
I realized right then that he no longer needed my constant supervision. All this time I thought I was teaching him. In reality, he was in fact, teaching me.
Lesson learned.
9.28.2011
I refuse to be this lame.
The other morning I woke up, gazed at the sun starting to creep over the mountains and break through the bathroom window, and instantly I was grumpy.
I stomped and frowned my way around the house for 40 minutes while the boys got ready. Finally one of them said to me, "What's wrong? The day just started. What are you so incredibly grumpy about?"
Before I could make up some excuse about my not getting enough sleep, my mouth went and told on me. "I CAN'T DO THIS!"
I. Am. So. Lame.
Usually I feel great about myself, and some how manage to check off all of my "to do list," so there should be no reason for me to be anything but happy. Therefore, I blame the devil himself for planting seeds of irritation in my brain.
The point isn't how much or how little I accomplish in a day. The point is I've fallen for that old trap that keeps me from loving this day and these people around me because I'm all wrapped up in my imperfections. The world is beautiful and I've got people who love me and support me in spite of these imperfections.
I got the boys out the door and proceeded to get myself ready for the day. Once I succumb to a relaxing, hot shower I know I'll be fine.
That old turkey we call the devil knows just what will tip us in the wrong direction, and if we're not actively seeking to find the little rays of sunshine in our day he will rain on our parade faster than a flash flood. The trick is shrugging off the blue or black thoughts and running in the other direction as fast as possible.
So, bring on the sunshine and smiles. I'm all ready to go.
I stomped and frowned my way around the house for 40 minutes while the boys got ready. Finally one of them said to me, "What's wrong? The day just started. What are you so incredibly grumpy about?"
Before I could make up some excuse about my not getting enough sleep, my mouth went and told on me. "I CAN'T DO THIS!"
I. Am. So. Lame.
Usually I feel great about myself, and some how manage to check off all of my "to do list," so there should be no reason for me to be anything but happy. Therefore, I blame the devil himself for planting seeds of irritation in my brain.
The point isn't how much or how little I accomplish in a day. The point is I've fallen for that old trap that keeps me from loving this day and these people around me because I'm all wrapped up in my imperfections. The world is beautiful and I've got people who love me and support me in spite of these imperfections.
I got the boys out the door and proceeded to get myself ready for the day. Once I succumb to a relaxing, hot shower I know I'll be fine.
That old turkey we call the devil knows just what will tip us in the wrong direction, and if we're not actively seeking to find the little rays of sunshine in our day he will rain on our parade faster than a flash flood. The trick is shrugging off the blue or black thoughts and running in the other direction as fast as possible.
So, bring on the sunshine and smiles. I'm all ready to go.
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