should i be offended?

Isn’t it interesting how easy it is to accidentally offend people? Sure, there are offensive sins that are outright contrived, but so many of the things people do to us, or we in turn do to others, are done without malice or intent.

In short, we usually offend people simply because we’re thoughtless idiots.

The other day I was visiting with a friend and found she was getting together with a mutual acquaintance for a night out; I’d run across the gathering by sheer accident.

“Oh,um…I’m going to ----'s that night, you know…it’s a girls’ thing…”

Awkward. Especially when it happened to me twice in a row for the same get together. The first time I figured it was probably a small private affair, no biggie. But getting a double rejection from two of our shared friends? My heart plummeted.

In no time flat I felt sick with the 7th grade Outcast Flu. Had I done something wrong? Hurt her feelings? Was it my conversation starters? Cause I can totally change to fit in. (Okay, that's a lie, but whatever.)

Then the first twinges of “she hurt my feelings” started to set in. That’s when I called Aaron. I gave him the rundown and sat on the other end of the phone, stuffing my face with left over Halloween candy and licking my chocolate covered wounds.

“Honey,” he said gently, “Don’t do this. Don’t let yourself get offended for something we’ve all accidentally done. Are you telling me you’ve never forgotten to invite someone over for games or a girls’ night? I’m pretty sure you’ve offended plenty of people, just in the 15 plus years I’ve known you. Have a little charity, forgive it, and get on with your day.”

And that was that.

The strange thing is, four sentences from my husband was as good for my soul as a visit to the spa is for my body. Of course he was right, how did I forget that very simple answer? I get to choose how I’m going to feel here, and I don’t have to take offense.

Whatever her reasons for leaving me out were, they didn’t matter, even if her intentions were down right hurtful (something I seriously doubt). Jesus didn’t say, “Forgive the people who accidentally hurt your feelings,” He said to get over all of it, even the nasty and intentional rejections, or the slanderous comments.

Loving people isn’t as easy as saying it out loud, but saying it out loud sure does help. It isn’t hard to find a friend to commiserate with, someone who encourages our feelings of anger and frustration. Instead, the next time someone pricks your feelings, look for the person in your life who will pull you back onto the straight and narrow.

It’s a one way path, make sure you’re following the right trail guide.